I got to lead communion at my church recently – a ritual to remember Jesus and how he gave his life. I’ve got a recording here, a written version below, and at the bottom the scriptures and song that were swirling in my head as this came together.
Hello, I’m Jason, and I get to lead us in Communion today – where we remember the death of Jesus on the cross at a place called Calvary.
I’ll be honest with you, a couple of years ago, if I was asked to lead Communion – reflecting on Jesus’ death – I would not have known what to say. I didn’t even know what to think about the cross anymore!
After a few years away from church, I had lots of questions. And the simple answers weren’t cutting it any more.
Especially questions about the cross. I bet a bunch of people here also wrestle with questions about what it all means: about God’s character, about us, about sin, about violence.
I found every time I came to communion, or a sermon about Jesus’ death, I got stuck in my head, with big questions and no easy answers, and I struggled to engage with this story that is so central to our faith.
And then over the Lent and Easter season last year, something shifted.
I was in the hardest period I’ve been through in my life, going through a marriage breakup. There was so much pain, and so much complexity. Life had no easy answers for me either.
In that time I found myself thinking about Jesus on the cross, picturing him hanging there, dying. And I would come back to that picture again and again, holding it in my mind.
The questions I had about the cross hadn’t gone away; they hadn’t been answered either. Nor had the questions about my own hurt.
But I was no longer trying to think about what it all means or who was responsible or what I should believe about it all. About what Jesus went through – or what I was going through.
Instead I was just picturing Jesus, dying on the cross. Brooke Ligertwood described what I was feeling in her song “Calvary’s Enough”:
The weight of the world, too much for the souls of men.
But somehow you hold it all, up on the cross.
Somehow – even without understanding how – when I picture Jesus on the cross, it speaks to my heart. My mind was still confused. My life was still hurting. But I felt that somehow what Jesus went through back then on the cross, was enough for what I was going through here and now.
The song continues:
When I know nothing, when I know too much,
What I choose to know right now is: Calvary’s enough.
There’s been times in my life when I’ve doubted almost everything. And there’s been other times where I’ve been a know-it-all.
But whatever the state of my beliefs and my doubts, I can choose to focus on the picture of Jesus, on the cross, at Calvary.
Giving our attention to Jesus on the cross changes us. In Hebrews we’re told to “Fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame”.
It’s tempting to look away, because looking at the cross can be uncomfortable – with hard, unanswered questions. But as we fix our eyes on Jesus, on the cross at Calvary, something shifts. At a deeper level than changing our thought patterns or statements of belief. There is a healing that takes place. And we are changed.
So as we take communion, let’s fix our eyes on Jesus.
This is the table,
not of the church,
but of the Lord.It is made ready for those who love him
and those who want to love him more.So, come.
You who have much faith,
and you who have little faith.
You who have been here often,
and you who have not been here long.
You who have tried to follow,
and you who have failed.Come.
Because it is the Lord who invites you.
It is his will that those who want him should meet him here.The body of Christ, given for you.
The blood of Christ, shed for you.Amen.
Let’s take this bread, representing his body, given for you.
Let’s take this grape juice, representing his blood, shed for you.
Let’s pray.
Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross. In whatever way we understand it – we see you. We see your suffering, your pain, your obedience, your care, your despair, your hope, your strength, your weakness, your shame, your dignity, we feel your love, your embrace, we receive your healing and your salvation.
As we fix our eyes on you Jesus, transform us into your image.
Here’s the verses that were swirling around in my head as I prepared to share this:
For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.
1 Corinthians 2
but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles
1 Corinthians 1
let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12
Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to prevent the Israelites from seeing the end of what was passing away. But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3
And also this earlier post, Staring at the curse.
And here’s the Brooke Ligertwood song, on Spotify, Apple Music or Youtube: