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The spiritual and religious background of a childhood

Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Passover festival.

Luke 2:41 (NLT)

My favourite podcast for a decade now has been On Being with Krista Tippett, and she opens every interview with the same question: “Can you describe the spiritual or religious background of your childhood? (In whatever way you interpret that question).” The answers vary, with probably half describing an upbringing rooted in one of the world’s major religions, and others bringing their own take to how their family embraced love, community, responsibility and perspectives on life. Hearing how those early experiences shape the lives of people is fascinating, and enlightening. Everyone on her show has quite an amazing story in their adult life, and the links to the spiritual and religious background of their childhood makes you think. Especially as a parent of young kids.

This morning I was reading one of the few stories from the bible about Jesus in his childhood1. There’s only a few things I know about Jesus’ upbringing:

  • His birth story was pretty unexpected (which we talk about every Christmas. I hear a lot about this one!)
  • His family left their home and fled to Egypt as refugees
  • At some point they returned and settled in a town called Nazareth (which had a bad reputation)
  • When he was 12, he was on a trip to the temple and got left there, and had some big chats with the rabbis.

This morning I noticed one extra detail on that last experience: “every year”. I’m sure there’s a lot I could learn about the spiritual and religious background by learning about what was normal for first century Jews under Roman rule. But even this little detail is fascinating.

Each year as a family they made the pilgrimage to Jerusalem. Google Maps thinks it’s about a 138km walk. So several days of walking even for an adult. I imagine when you’re travelling as a family it’s even slower. And they obviously knew lots of other travellers – enough that it was normal for a 12 year old to be in the company of other travellers and not his parents. (I think about my annual trips to the Pemberton Caravan Park as a kid, and meeting some of the same families year after year. And then later the annual youth Summer Camp with other high school kids from my church.)

Google maps is also telling me it’s largely uphill on the way there: that’s why the psalms associated with the pilgrimage to Jerusalem are called “the songs of ascent2 – I’m guessing Jesus and the other travellers would have known these and sung them on the way.

This whole pilgrimage – a week or so of travel, a week or so of the festival, and a week or so for the return – I’m sure would have been included in Jesus’ answer to Krista Tippett’s question. How could such a regular, huge, intentional, communal experience not shape the way you see the world?

And then there’s the story of him staying with the teachers of the law and having the big conversations. Where did he learn all this? I think some of the answers I heard as a kid in Pentecostal churches suggest it was all the Holy Spirit and divine insights… and while my experience says God does connect with children directly and they can learn spirituality from revelation and not just from culture – I also have no doubt that Jesus would have soaked in the religion and spirituality of his community and culture. They did this pilgrimage every year, and I doubt this is the first time he’s had conversations with the teachers. It’s just memorable because it’s the time his parents lost track of him. (Terrifying!)

And what about the rest of the time with his family? What was their spirituality like at home? If the birth story was as full on as the gospels suggest then his parents would have been indelibly changed by the experience. They would have had a strong sense of God’s involvement in their lives.

They also would have been forever changed by their experience of fleeing persecution. I doubt anyone can be a refugee and then experience the rest of their life as if that dramatic escape hadn’t occurred. They would have been so aware of the power systems of the empire they lived in, and more culturally aware than many of their neighbours who may not have travelled as far as they had, and may not have experienced other cultures up close.

And once they’re back in Nazareth, and living as Jews in a Jewish culture: did they treat Jesus differently? This verse makes me think not:

And his mother stored all these things in her heart.

Luke 2:51

Combined with other stories from the gospels about Jesus’ home-town community viewing him as “the carpenter’s son” and not particularly special, I wonder if Mary tried to let the kid just grow up, without placing expectations on him. He was in his 30s by the time she prompted him to help out with the lack of wine at the wedding, prompting his first miracle and the start of his ministry. By that point Jesus and Mary have obviously talked about something, because he has a sense of the purpose in his life and it’s timing: “my hour has not yet come”.

It is a beautiful thing to imagine Mary as a mum, holding all the promises she believes for her son, and having faith for them, enough faith to let it happen in its own time.

No extra-curricular religion classes were needed. Nor any messiah training or exposure to zealot groups. Clearly Jesus gravitated to the temple and the teachers all on his own.

And there’s also the experience of being a people living under foreign occupation. And the experience of growing up in a small village with not a lot of people and not a lot of opportunities. So many of these things would have been in the backdrop of his life, shaping who he ended up being as an adult – the things we remember him for.

And all this makes me think about me as a parent, and what I want to impart to my kids.

Growing up as a child of pastors, I had so many beautiful and formative moments. And while the rhythms of a Pentecostal / evangelical church don’t feel as rich as Jewish culture or even liturgical Christian calendars, there were regular rhythms – like the summer camps I mentioned, these were so crucial for how I formed into adulthood.

I love how big the annual pilgrimage was for them. How much it would have dominated their annual calendar. How much it must have been a big thing for them as kids, taking in a little bit more, with a little more independence each year (and then too much!) What would an equivalent look like for our family? And our church community as a whole?

Only as an adult have I started practicing Lent and Advent more deliberately, respecting the whole season rather than just Easter Weekend and Christmas Day. But even then I’m engaging with these seasons mostly through readings and reflections – it’s very cognitive and not often visceral. I’m wondering what kinds of communal rituals would build memories and form character in a more deliberate way.

For my boys definitely. But also for me. And also, the church.

  1. Apparently it is, or was, the Feast of the Holy Family today? I’m having trouble following the logic of the liturgical calendar combined with the timezone differences from the newsletter that alerted me to it! ↩︎
  2. A Long Obedience in the Same Direction by Eugene Peterson was a formative book for me – it’s centred around these psalms and the idea of pilgrimage. ↩︎
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Write it on their hearts

  1. In many times and in many ways, God speaks
  2. We may drift away
  3. It was only right
  4. Where you’ll find God
  5. “Stay soft”: Sabbath rest
  6. The difference between right and wrong
  7. An anchor for the soul
  8. Our great desire
  9. Which promises?
  10. Write it on their hearts
  11. The community’s relationship to God
  12. Everyone will know me already

I will put my laws in their minds
and write them on their hearts.

I will be their God,
and they will be my people.

No longer will they teach their neighbor,
or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’
because they will all know me,
from the least of them to the greatest.

For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more.

Hebrews 8

As I’ve continued this series of posts through the book of Hebrews, I knew I wanted to write something on this passage, but it’s so rich it’s hard to know where to start.

So much of the big story in the bible is about the deep commitment in the relationship between God and God’s people – the covenant. There was the covenant with Abraham to make his descendants a great nation, and then the covenant with those descendants shared in the law of Moses. And then in the writings of another Hebrew prophet, Jeremiah, acknowledges both the failings of that covenant, but also the deep love and commitment:

This covenant will not be like the one I made with their ancestors when I took them by the hand and brought them out of the land of Egypt. They broke that covenant, though I loved them as a husband loves his wife.

Jeremiah 31

And then Jeremiah describes a new covenant God is making. And the few sentences he writes are elevated by the author of Hebrews to be a key to understanding Jesus’ work as high priest and his purpose here on earth.

So as I’ve been thinking about what to write, the challenge for me was to not jump at the first thing to write, but to meditate on it deeply. Memorise these couple of sentences. And let them do a deep internal work.

What’s happening for me here has been another instance of what I quoted in the first post in this series:

A memorized work (like a lover, a friend, a spouse, a child) has entered into the fabric of its possessor’s intellectual and emotional life in a way that makes deep claims upon that life, claims that can only be ignored with effort and deliberation.’ … A memorized text has a peculiarly character-forming effect on the memorizer. The text becomes part of his character; he lives in it and lives it out.

Paul J. Griffiths, Religious Reading

There’s so many things I could write about… but mostly I’d encourage you to meditate on the words of this new covenant and let what you learn about God’s heart go deep, to be placed in your mind and written in your heart.

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Faith Personal

Following over believing

I’ve started participating in a local church again lately, after a few years away.

In that time away my beliefs have continued to evolve (there’s never really been a period in my life where they haven’t), and now I find myself standing in a gathering of people signing songs whose lyrics often make me cringe, and bring on a sense of cognitive dissonance for me – there’s parts of this I do believe are true, parts of this I want to believe are true (but probably don’t, if I’m honest) and parts that I think are downright unhealthy, regardless of their truth.

So what am I doing here?

Well, I want community. And being part of a regular weekly gathering is a way of building friendships that I know works, and that I’m comfortable with. Even if there’s a little dissonance.

I also want a spiritual practice – I’ve never stopped believing in God (if you’ll let me define “believing” and “God” on my own terms at least!) and have wanted to maintain a connection with the spiritual reality that permeates everything. And while I’ve experienced this same connection in music festivals and yoga classes, something I’ve appreciated about the church I grew up in is the absolute insistence that this divine spiritual reality isn’t an impersonal energy, but is a person, and is a person who can be known, and a person who wants to be known. I want that.

But probably the biggest thing is that for all my questions about the meaning of Jesus’ life, I still find his example and his teaching incredibly compelling, and to this day haven’t found anything else that I’d want to have as a foundation for building my own life on, a story to orient myself towards, a starting point for choosing the way I want to live.

I guess that’s what I think of as discipleship. Following the way of the teacher. Regardless of what I intellectually reason to be truth, I can still listen to teachings, learning from the example, and choose to live that way.

This morning at the church gathering, there was a song I felt no awkwardness singing, so I sang it loud:

I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back
No turning back

A hymn by Sadhu Sundar Singh